Evening on Marine Drive

Crackling shells

of a roasted groundnut

fell

as we walked

on the shore at sunset.

Brushing aside

that willful strand of hair

off my face

I stood and stared

at those passing unknown faces

flashing through my

lens' screen...

I wonder how

that child of four

or five

is happy with his running nose

and patchy clothes...

Where does he go

when the darkness falls?

Is there a place

that he calls his home?

And a chaiwala 

succeeds in selling me

an over priced, under-boiled

hot cup of tea

While the chipswala

grumbled softly

at my refusal

for his fare...

There are couples here

and there

and some more too far

finding the comforting embrace

of a crowded place

Where holding hands

or a spontaneous kiss

is no disgrace...
i see their smile

made me forget

the destitute's pain...

For fitness' sake

or just a break

you see them walk

and run and pace

With music on

or dogs in chains

the lifeline here

is on its shore...

And darkness falls

into the sea

Cool cars whizz by

the star struck eyes

trying to find 

the city of their dreams

As they stand and stare

for just that little more:

a house opening on to the sea,

a car that guzzles the petroleum

resources of the world

and a few thousands crisp Gandhi face

in their back pockets...

The stars lit up the sky

and the necklace was shining bright

our conversation continued

as we walked back to the junction

and back to our

race against time

an evening spent

in the heart of my Mumbai...

Choking on you...

How do i explain how i feel?

i feel...
like i am drowning in the deep deep sea
far away from the shore
with no hands to pull me back,
back to the shore...

i feel...
the sting of my burning soles
as if they were walking on coals of fire
with the stench of my burnt flesh
all pervading the air
and i can't breathe...

i feel...
the pricks of innumerable
invisible, everlasting needles
hurting the insides of my soul
and i can't cry
or utter a word...

i feel...
the shame of a slave
all tied up
and nothing and no one
to save it from the shame
not even death
the elusive escape...

A goodbye note...

Can't say a word.
But i lived my part with you.
Now we part on a note
i never knew
would come our way.

Now we are here
far from each other's view
i cry a little
sometimes laugh
at a joke we shared
secretly glance at the spot
that was ours
as i walk past it
in my everyday fare.

Who do i complain?
Whom to blame?
Why did i let you go
when you were the one who knew
what my words never said?

It is the way of the world
and we care too much
for the rest of them
and what they feel
should be done...

I let you go
but i want you to know
i am here
right where i was
and when the world comes to an end
We will be one.

Our Play

The curtain is
about to unveil...

All the hours of practice,
of dialogues exchanged
behind the scenes,
of emotions and drama
entwining dreams with action,
of mis-timed cues
and comic timings
sailing through...

The curtain is
about to unveil...

Jitters and prayers
to break-a-leg,
poking questions: Standing ovation-
will that greet us
or will we face
all empty chairs?

The curtain is
about to unveil...

As i sit here in the wings
and know i can do no more
than wait and watch
all my hours of toil
and biting nails
being over now...
the theatre of life
begins its refrain...

Follow you

I will follow you

like the moon around the earth
Will you be my earth?

Will you stand by me

when i wax and wane,

when i hide in the darkness

or while i shine brighter than the stars?

Will you pull me to you,

but not too close

so that my orb is around you

but i don't burn

and crash on your floor?

I will follow you

like a meter on a running cab.

Will you turn me on?

Would you manipulate

and fix the way i move

or let me move

the way i was meant to move?

Will you tamper my seal

and sell me off

for some tiny deal?

I will follow you

like i have followed you around

in the daily hours of silence.

Will you be my sound?

Will you say the words

my mouth cannot form

and read my mind

for all my concerns?

Will you know
that i have followed you

for you alone

and not for some vested gains?
And i will follow you

else my life will not remain...

Perfect Night

Just around the corner
near the old walls
of Keval Mahal
close to the imprinted footstep
the love was shared

The necklace lit up the night
and the waves were on low tide
murmuring against the rocks
as they smiled

The walls have grown older
the necklace now brighter...
barefoot she stood
watching the surging tide
crash against the rocks
her dreams
of the perfect night
now gone amuck...

and she was like the crabs
on the rock
one step ahead
two steps back
her life going in circles
that never seemed to stop...

In a wayward way...

I love you

in a wayward way.

In extreme passion for a moment

and a longer moment

later I fight you off

Your love which cares

touches me;

But sometimes suffocates

my streak of independence

and pushes the boundaries of my space…

I wait for

a sign

an instance

that would tell me again

and again

that I love you the same

or even more…

You are like a drug

in my veins

you make me live

even after a death

a thousand times more

when you are out and away…

I love you

in my wayward way...

Bike Memoirs

In the highways of my dreams
while the road moves
on a bumpy ride of twists and turns
i miss your warmth on the bike we drove...

My arms across your chest
clutching on to your heartbeat
as my chin rests on your shoulder blade
and we share a glance
through the mirror on the right.
i miss your smile through those eyes...

The mismatched turns on
indecisive streets under neon lights
take us through stranger routes
as we look for the road we knew
and you turn around and sigh!
i miss your love for those unseen sights...

As we walk our way through life
in days we slog
in evenings catch some breath of respite
i miss you
and our rides...

Of Tears...

Someone's arms
Now enclosed him the way i did...

Cry my sweet child, cry...
and let the tears wash away
those unseen wounds
that no words can ever dry...

Cry now, 'cause tomorrow
these tears may betray you
and the pain would smother
your heart's remains...

Let not the world fool you
to believe
that things will be alright
'cause they always remain the same...

Let it flow.
Let it drown the sheets
and the corners of the pillow
that shared his heat...

Don't worry about the swollen eyes
which scare you to fall in line
and move on
with a stoic smile...

Don't let those foolish thoughts
of strength and poise
encumber your emotions
when you want to cry...

Cry my love cry,
for this world is unfair
unjust are its ways
and we are just pawns
in life's wilful play...

Rage

Gnashing at the deepest chord,
Squeezing, straining
breaking my heart.

Overpowering is this stench of pain
Needles through the deepest veins

Pricks you here
and scrapes you there

Screams inside
the sound proof head
It hurts and hurts
but hear no wail.

No No. No way.
No words we say.
No words can speak
this anger's sway.

Wiped out. Wiped clean.
No trace remains
of love...of care
of friendship plain.

It's red, it's black
or ashen flame.
It burns and burns
and breaks the chain.

Love Lost

Was it not i,
you fell in love?

Was it not true,
the words we spoke?

Why does it feel
like a bondage now?

Why do questions make
the distance grow?

Shackled by whom?
Whose chain is that?

Who is this me
and who is this you?

Where have we lost
the Us we knew?

Just hold me once
and let me feel
our heartbeat, as they
used to be.

Just tell me once
and once again...

You feel the feel
the funny feel
the feel i feel
and i know its real.

Shadows and Silhouttes

It is not about her, but maybe it is about her.
December shivers
And shadows cover the sunlight.
And she fights.
The tears singeing the corners
Of her eyes
The phantom pain
Of her broken heart
The unfinished goodbye
And incomplete end of a beautiful start.

Oh! she fell
She fell and broke the wall
With her bare arms.
The fortress is broken, she is out in the open
Trying to hide behind the smile
Of deception. Of affection?

The burden is all hers, or maybe she forgot to share
And as the day draws near
Her words are unclear, unsure
Are her quivering thoughts
As she holds on to the last rays of hope
Of love that was hers.

The unknown face

When i heard those music notes
my heart flew by, my eyes were lost
it is the tune i hum and hum
sometimes with smile
sometimes in hurt


we were so close
and yet so far
the crowd had swum
he stood afar


forlorn my eyes looked at my star
and sang the song that held me there


i charged on now
to try once more
it was right then
some stranger called
he led the way
and made a path


i was right there
now face to face
swaying by the strumming notes
the stranger there now heard my laugh
and laughed with me, an open heart


i stood and swayed and sang and danced
and when the last note died down
i moved away and left the town


and now i sit and think aloud
i wish i knew the stranger's name
and say thank you
for that moment spent...

To Forget

I wish to forget
The smell of Barista mochas
And kulhad wali chai
The turns of Connaught Place
And the long auto rides
The bells of Kali Bari
And the silence inside
The mosquito bites in the dark dark night
And the jump through the gates
And crashing delights


I wish to forget
And I shall start forgetting
little by little
Like I forgot your smile
The one with the twinkles
Like I forgot your phrases
Till someone did something incorrigible
Like I forgot the words on the small piece of tissue paper
That had all your wishes noted down
Like I forgot the prophesy of the astrologer
Who made me a mother
Like I forgot that your favourite song
Was mine too
I shall forget
I shall forget soon
Just the way
You forgot me

Left Behind...

and there he left again..
the he changes,
but leaving continues...

to love and define
to care and cry
to hold but not too tight

numb and frozen
hurt? whats that?
just rambling on...

words have no meaning left
alphabets with no thoughts
the walls are growing stronger
a fortress of isolation

i sit here
life moves on....

Metamorphosis...long back...

A hush in the room
Broken by the jingle
Bangles dancing, anklets tinkling,
The dawn was breaking.

Smeared kumkum, droopy eyes;
Like rising sun across the sky
Rumpled sari, entangled rings
Waking up, to feel her dream.

Hair cascading, dark and long
Scented jasmine on the floor.
Her man beside her
A smile on his lips.

The cool water, running down
Recalled her senses: it's THEIR room.
The mirror had changed her world around
Was once a girl, now a woman had born.

Not now! Not here!
Intense, so deep…
Hey you! Stop there!
No more, no more
My heart can bear.

Don't pull, it pains
My soul is chained
Enough! I said
I am no slave.

I played, I know
I wronged, accept
Guilty of crime
My life is gone.

Stab me to death
Remove my shame
My tears don't fall
They drown my soul

I gasp for breath
It burns, it breaks
I shiver, I cry
But where to go?

Release, don't stay
This cage do break
No more I said
No more to bear…

Kavitha...

was it the eyes?
the deep dark ones..
was it the smile?
that was pure radiance..

was it the laugh?
childish innocence..
was it the glance?
shy yet piercing...

was it the never ending
chatter? like rippling waves..
was it those large tears?
soaking the heart with pain..

was it this or that?
that made me love you
more and more
now n forever...

So it was…
As a poem written
And forgotten
Fought over with passion
And emotion
And left unsung…

Musings of an evening
A long walk
A ringing laughter
Few children’s song
Warm cups of coffee
Of smiles galore

And a flurry of unopened pages
Fly through…

An autumn wind
Blew it all
Baring the tree, left its
Barren soul…

And it stood
Tall and stern

A paradise lost
And regained…
(Or so it thought)
With its mighty fall…

As summer came
It felt its loss
A hollow case
Resides its heart

It burns in hell
And feels the pain
A paradise held
And lost again…

Broken

Clinks of ice filled glasses
Danced through
Danced with me
As I was dancing with the
Soaring waves on the shore…

Cry now not and tears
Don’t splash…

Let it go and it shall go from you
Like empty glasses on a shelf
Of a half closed bar…

Night was passing
Slowly into dawn’s arms
And here i was
Splayed on the cold floor
A blur of it all…

Broken.
pushed to the wall..

It was a blur…
A blur after all…