“Coffee ready! Come over now.”
The day had begun with the right smell from the big black cup. The ruffling newspaper, the humming noise of the fan and ringing puja bells in some neighbour’s house permeated the room. Weekends have a different tinge altogether, the room seems cozier and the sofa softer and time seems to move lazily in the morning.
Aise jaagi re mai raat, koi neend ko tarse neend nahi…
“What’s the POA?” “Nothing…you tell me.”
“Movies?” “Naa…nothing interesting…”
“Hmmm…you wanna meet xyz?” “Nope…”
“You wanna shop? Go some place?” “Don’t feel like it.”
“Then say something that you want.” “I know what I don’t want as of now!”
And that’s how most decisions of life have been taken by me. It’s not based on what I want but by removing the things that I don’t want and staying with the remaining. Life proposes, and I dispose it off.
I don’t want to be an engineer. I don’t want to stay in a small city. I don’t want high heeled shoes. I don’t want over protective people around me. I don’t this, I don’t that…
I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known…
“Where you lost? The coffee’s really nice.” “Yes…it is beaten to perfection…”
The funny thing in these phrases is that they reflect a lot of things. Beaten to perfection…but who decides what perfection is. So many of us are beaten into becoming what we never thought we would be finally. We continue to question our actions even after the rest of the world is no longer concerned. Socialised, internalized, and trained. Spontaneity is also something we have learnt, and nothing comes naturally. I wonder what I would be like if I had not been told to do the things that I was told. What would I be like; if I had not met the people I met. They touch your lives, and their marks stay even after they are no longer there around you.
Like this cup of beaten coffee, which I had learnt from her, long back, somewhere in that historical part of me…
Now I am living in your afterglow…
“Feel like just catching up with myself. Guess will pick up some book and stay home.”
“Hmmm...ok...then I am off to my movies.”
Thhodi ankahee sunni sunani hai…
