Perfect Night

Just around the corner
near the old walls
of Keval Mahal
close to the imprinted footstep
the love was shared

The necklace lit up the night
and the waves were on low tide
murmuring against the rocks
as they smiled

The walls have grown older
the necklace now brighter...
barefoot she stood
watching the surging tide
crash against the rocks
her dreams
of the perfect night
now gone amuck...

and she was like the crabs
on the rock
one step ahead
two steps back
her life going in circles
that never seemed to stop...

Of Tears...

Someone's arms
Now enclosed him the way i did...

Cry my sweet child, cry...
and let the tears wash away
those unseen wounds
that no words can ever dry...

Cry now, 'cause tomorrow
these tears may betray you
and the pain would smother
your heart's remains...

Let not the world fool you
to believe
that things will be alright
'cause they always remain the same...

Let it flow.
Let it drown the sheets
and the corners of the pillow
that shared his heat...

Don't worry about the swollen eyes
which scare you to fall in line
and move on
with a stoic smile...

Don't let those foolish thoughts
of strength and poise
encumber your emotions
when you want to cry...

Cry my love cry,
for this world is unfair
unjust are its ways
and we are just pawns
in life's wilful play...

Rage

Gnashing at the deepest chord,
Squeezing, straining
breaking my heart.

Overpowering is this stench of pain
Needles through the deepest veins

Pricks you here
and scrapes you there

Screams inside
the sound proof head
It hurts and hurts
but hear no wail.

No No. No way.
No words we say.
No words can speak
this anger's sway.

Wiped out. Wiped clean.
No trace remains
of love...of care
of friendship plain.

It's red, it's black
or ashen flame.
It burns and burns
and breaks the chain.

Love Lost

Was it not i,
you fell in love?

Was it not true,
the words we spoke?

Why does it feel
like a bondage now?

Why do questions make
the distance grow?

Shackled by whom?
Whose chain is that?

Who is this me
and who is this you?

Where have we lost
the Us we knew?

Just hold me once
and let me feel
our heartbeat, as they
used to be.

Just tell me once
and once again...

You feel the feel
the funny feel
the feel i feel
and i know its real.

Shadows and Silhouttes

It is not about her, but maybe it is about her.
December shivers
And shadows cover the sunlight.
And she fights.
The tears singeing the corners
Of her eyes
The phantom pain
Of her broken heart
The unfinished goodbye
And incomplete end of a beautiful start.

Oh! she fell
She fell and broke the wall
With her bare arms.
The fortress is broken, she is out in the open
Trying to hide behind the smile
Of deception. Of affection?

The burden is all hers, or maybe she forgot to share
And as the day draws near
Her words are unclear, unsure
Are her quivering thoughts
As she holds on to the last rays of hope
Of love that was hers.

To Forget

I wish to forget
The smell of Barista mochas
And kulhad wali chai
The turns of Connaught Place
And the long auto rides
The bells of Kali Bari
And the silence inside
The mosquito bites in the dark dark night
And the jump through the gates
And crashing delights


I wish to forget
And I shall start forgetting
little by little
Like I forgot your smile
The one with the twinkles
Like I forgot your phrases
Till someone did something incorrigible
Like I forgot the words on the small piece of tissue paper
That had all your wishes noted down
Like I forgot the prophesy of the astrologer
Who made me a mother
Like I forgot that your favourite song
Was mine too
I shall forget
I shall forget soon
Just the way
You forgot me

Left Behind...

and there he left again..
the he changes,
but leaving continues...

to love and define
to care and cry
to hold but not too tight

numb and frozen
hurt? whats that?
just rambling on...

words have no meaning left
alphabets with no thoughts
the walls are growing stronger
a fortress of isolation

i sit here
life moves on....

Not now! Not here!
Intense, so deep…
Hey you! Stop there!
No more, no more
My heart can bear.

Don't pull, it pains
My soul is chained
Enough! I said
I am no slave.

I played, I know
I wronged, accept
Guilty of crime
My life is gone.

Stab me to death
Remove my shame
My tears don't fall
They drown my soul

I gasp for breath
It burns, it breaks
I shiver, I cry
But where to go?

Release, don't stay
This cage do break
No more I said
No more to bear…

So it was…
As a poem written
And forgotten
Fought over with passion
And emotion
And left unsung…

Musings of an evening
A long walk
A ringing laughter
Few children’s song
Warm cups of coffee
Of smiles galore

And a flurry of unopened pages
Fly through…

An autumn wind
Blew it all
Baring the tree, left its
Barren soul…

And it stood
Tall and stern

A paradise lost
And regained…
(Or so it thought)
With its mighty fall…

As summer came
It felt its loss
A hollow case
Resides its heart

It burns in hell
And feels the pain
A paradise held
And lost again…

Broken

Clinks of ice filled glasses
Danced through
Danced with me
As I was dancing with the
Soaring waves on the shore…

Cry now not and tears
Don’t splash…

Let it go and it shall go from you
Like empty glasses on a shelf
Of a half closed bar…

Night was passing
Slowly into dawn’s arms
And here i was
Splayed on the cold floor
A blur of it all…

Broken.
pushed to the wall..

It was a blur…
A blur after all…

Empty words
Fill the air, water and sky
Pages fly

Tears splash
Waterproof souls
Oasisless sands
Spreads its wings
Covers us all...

Thoughts fly
No resting sky...
Nests are made

And broken...

Pieces of it
Call out n cry
Scream silently
N then die...

Nothingness
And isolation stay...

Love is raped
Hate prevails...

Plastic smiles
And tears
Go on and on...

The unpublished story

My dad calls me pari..an angel, the jewel of his eyes. My mom looks after all my small small needs. i love to sing and prance around the whole house. They look at me and smile.

But i am not a pari...not any longer. i am scared to move around the house..what if?...no, dont tell anyone...if you do, then dad wont love me anymore and mom will shut me outside the house... why? because he said so...

He used to take me around the house when mom was busy cooking food and then he would tell me stories..stories that i would love to hear again n again..but then...

i used to sit in front of the mirror for hours on end...combing my hair,smiling and looking the left side and the right...i hate the mirror that shows me my face now...i want to run away and hide...i dont want anyone to see me..

yesterday when i got back from school, there were a few guys who passed me by and said loudly- sexy! i asked mom and she said it was bad word..never use it again..How did the guys know about it...i did not say anything...that means everyone can see that i am bad, impure...oh!! where will i hide....

he said i deserved it...that i looked pretty..that i danced..that i invited attention...why didn't i wrap it up and hide from the rest of the world...he said if i tell anyone they would throw me away forever...

But i hated it, those crude hands...i want to scream..want to breakapart..but i cant...

why me? why why why me??

the pari's white dress has been dirtied like the gutter..her hair's uncombed...her dance has left her...she is holding on to the small threads...i am living ..but for how long...

"My tears don't fall, they drown my soul..."