Follow you

I will follow you

like the moon around the earth
Will you be my earth?

Will you stand by me

when i wax and wane,

when i hide in the darkness

or while i shine brighter than the stars?

Will you pull me to you,

but not too close

so that my orb is around you

but i don't burn

and crash on your floor?

I will follow you

like a meter on a running cab.

Will you turn me on?

Would you manipulate

and fix the way i move

or let me move

the way i was meant to move?

Will you tamper my seal

and sell me off

for some tiny deal?

I will follow you

like i have followed you around

in the daily hours of silence.

Will you be my sound?

Will you say the words

my mouth cannot form

and read my mind

for all my concerns?

Will you know
that i have followed you

for you alone

and not for some vested gains?
And i will follow you

else my life will not remain...

Perfect Night

Just around the corner
near the old walls
of Keval Mahal
close to the imprinted footstep
the love was shared

The necklace lit up the night
and the waves were on low tide
murmuring against the rocks
as they smiled

The walls have grown older
the necklace now brighter...
barefoot she stood
watching the surging tide
crash against the rocks
her dreams
of the perfect night
now gone amuck...

and she was like the crabs
on the rock
one step ahead
two steps back
her life going in circles
that never seemed to stop...

In a wayward way...

I love you

in a wayward way.

In extreme passion for a moment

and a longer moment

later I fight you off

Your love which cares

touches me;

But sometimes suffocates

my streak of independence

and pushes the boundaries of my space…

I wait for

a sign

an instance

that would tell me again

and again

that I love you the same

or even more…

You are like a drug

in my veins

you make me live

even after a death

a thousand times more

when you are out and away…

I love you

in my wayward way...

Bike Memoirs

In the highways of my dreams
while the road moves
on a bumpy ride of twists and turns
i miss your warmth on the bike we drove...

My arms across your chest
clutching on to your heartbeat
as my chin rests on your shoulder blade
and we share a glance
through the mirror on the right.
i miss your smile through those eyes...

The mismatched turns on
indecisive streets under neon lights
take us through stranger routes
as we look for the road we knew
and you turn around and sigh!
i miss your love for those unseen sights...

As we walk our way through life
in days we slog
in evenings catch some breath of respite
i miss you
and our rides...

Love Lost

Was it not i,
you fell in love?

Was it not true,
the words we spoke?

Why does it feel
like a bondage now?

Why do questions make
the distance grow?

Shackled by whom?
Whose chain is that?

Who is this me
and who is this you?

Where have we lost
the Us we knew?

Just hold me once
and let me feel
our heartbeat, as they
used to be.

Just tell me once
and once again...

You feel the feel
the funny feel
the feel i feel
and i know its real.

Shadows and Silhouttes

It is not about her, but maybe it is about her.
December shivers
And shadows cover the sunlight.
And she fights.
The tears singeing the corners
Of her eyes
The phantom pain
Of her broken heart
The unfinished goodbye
And incomplete end of a beautiful start.

Oh! she fell
She fell and broke the wall
With her bare arms.
The fortress is broken, she is out in the open
Trying to hide behind the smile
Of deception. Of affection?

The burden is all hers, or maybe she forgot to share
And as the day draws near
Her words are unclear, unsure
Are her quivering thoughts
As she holds on to the last rays of hope
Of love that was hers.

To Forget

I wish to forget
The smell of Barista mochas
And kulhad wali chai
The turns of Connaught Place
And the long auto rides
The bells of Kali Bari
And the silence inside
The mosquito bites in the dark dark night
And the jump through the gates
And crashing delights


I wish to forget
And I shall start forgetting
little by little
Like I forgot your smile
The one with the twinkles
Like I forgot your phrases
Till someone did something incorrigible
Like I forgot the words on the small piece of tissue paper
That had all your wishes noted down
Like I forgot the prophesy of the astrologer
Who made me a mother
Like I forgot that your favourite song
Was mine too
I shall forget
I shall forget soon
Just the way
You forgot me

Conversation

It was a time warp: the same silent pauses and trickling thoughts and images. You could hear the laugh resounding through the hall with unfinished desks and chairs. And also feel the swaying dance on the collection of English songs. The whispers and the rush of blood to those cheekbones, ending in long conversations on the phone.

And us. At the very beginning.

“Sing a song.” “Now? You want to wake up the world to throw me out?”

“It was there…wasn’t it?” “Yeah…it was…”

The comfort of being silent and yet saying it all out, of reading the mind and the heart too, is difficult in today’s world of constant communication. You know, not the awkward silence, when there is nothing to say and you keep thinking what to say next, or hoping that the other person would pick some topic, or just leave. But the silence which you enjoy, where you are yourself without having to explain who you are and you wish that the words were lost forever and no one speaks again. That delectable silence was with us, around us, enveloping the real world.

“I still have that…” “What?”

“The last one you wrote…” “That was poison…throw that away…it can only hurt.”

“Yeah…it hurts the most…but I can’t let go of it…”

You would think why keep the last one, the one with the worst thoughts, the hatred, the anger, the hurt…when I threw the sweet ones away, the ones that would give the smiles, and lessen the agonising pain, the ones that would make me believe again…where it still was a fairy land.

But I can’t…it’s like the marks on the moon, or the thorns of the roses, which keeps reminding how it was not perfect, nevertheless beautiful in its way…it played its part in making me the way I am…and I surely don’t regret that.

“Wouldn’t you have written the same things?” “No. Never.”

“You can’t feel what I did.” “I can.”

Are we fighting? No we are not. There is no point in fighting now. There is no weight left. Time a healer? May be, maybe not. May be forgiving is the best way to alleviate the pain. When you can’t answer the recurring questions, and the questions hurt more than accepting things to be the way they are, like suspension of disbelief…I m going to literature again, using it to serve my purpose…

Or I am just being an escapist.

“It’s late…” “Hmmm…”

“Good night then…” “Ya...’gnite”

Trrrrrup Trrrrrup Trrrrrup <engage tone>

Left Behind...

and there he left again..
the he changes,
but leaving continues...

to love and define
to care and cry
to hold but not too tight

numb and frozen
hurt? whats that?
just rambling on...

words have no meaning left
alphabets with no thoughts
the walls are growing stronger
a fortress of isolation

i sit here
life moves on....

Metamorphosis...long back...

A hush in the room
Broken by the jingle
Bangles dancing, anklets tinkling,
The dawn was breaking.

Smeared kumkum, droopy eyes;
Like rising sun across the sky
Rumpled sari, entangled rings
Waking up, to feel her dream.

Hair cascading, dark and long
Scented jasmine on the floor.
Her man beside her
A smile on his lips.

The cool water, running down
Recalled her senses: it's THEIR room.
The mirror had changed her world around
Was once a girl, now a woman had born.

Not now! Not here!
Intense, so deep…
Hey you! Stop there!
No more, no more
My heart can bear.

Don't pull, it pains
My soul is chained
Enough! I said
I am no slave.

I played, I know
I wronged, accept
Guilty of crime
My life is gone.

Stab me to death
Remove my shame
My tears don't fall
They drown my soul

I gasp for breath
It burns, it breaks
I shiver, I cry
But where to go?

Release, don't stay
This cage do break
No more I said
No more to bear…

Kavitha...

was it the eyes?
the deep dark ones..
was it the smile?
that was pure radiance..

was it the laugh?
childish innocence..
was it the glance?
shy yet piercing...

was it the never ending
chatter? like rippling waves..
was it those large tears?
soaking the heart with pain..

was it this or that?
that made me love you
more and more
now n forever...

Love me tender, love me wild

...and the day is near

when i shall hold you in my arms

…and let the moment linger on as

i count the stars and whisper

my love for you.

…and promise nothing more

or less to you…

…and as i look into your face

and you into mine,

we say no words,

but bare our souls and listen

to the hearts’ beats…

You shower your love on

my eyes n ears n cheeks n lips

…and my fingers trace your face

i clasp your arms and feet…

…and as the moment flies

we rock on to the skies

Love me tender, love me wild

coz you are my man and i your woman still

…and all i have is for you my dear

for you alone, i live