My dad calls me pari..an angel, the jewel of his eyes. My mom looks after all my small small needs. i love to sing and prance around the whole house. They look at me and smile.
But i am not a pari...not any longer. i am scared to move around the house..what if?...no, dont tell anyone...if you do, then dad wont love me anymore and mom will shut me outside the house... why? because he said so...
He used to take me around the house when mom was busy cooking food and then he would tell me stories..stories that i would love to hear again n again..but then...
i used to sit in front of the mirror for hours on end...combing my hair,smiling and looking the left side and the right...i hate the mirror that shows me my face now...i want to run away and hide...i dont want anyone to see me..
yesterday when i got back from school, there were a few guys who passed me by and said loudly- sexy! i asked mom and she said it was bad word..never use it again..How did the guys know about it...i did not say anything...that means everyone can see that i am bad, impure...oh!! where will i hide....
he said i deserved it...that i looked pretty..that i danced..that i invited attention...why didn't i wrap it up and hide from the rest of the world...he said if i tell anyone they would throw me away forever...
But i hated it, those crude hands...i want to scream..want to breakapart..but i cant...
why me? why why why me??
the pari's white dress has been dirtied like the gutter..her hair's uncombed...her dance has left her...she is holding on to the small threads...i am living ..but for how long...
"My tears don't fall, they drown my soul..."
.... but at least the pari still has a soul.
ReplyDeleteAfter all, beauty lies within. And it is forever.