Time lines of change

I was always taken to those weddings and social get-togethers where my parents were invited. I would not be having my friends and at times no children in the party. My Big B could avoid it by simply saying a no, and he being a big boy could stay alone.

I liked to dress up. Wear those new frocks my aunt would have sent from America. To comb my short thin hair and put 2 red bow shaped clips on both sides. Putting a red bindi and lots of powder on my face. 

I enjoyed the attention the uncles and aunties would give me. "Which class are you in?" "Which school?" "Oh, you have grown tall. I knew you when you were just six months old."

I loved people. Simply liked to be part of a bustling crowd, liked to be known, seen, heard by all. I would sing without hesitation. And accept the adulation and praise without a question.

And here I am today. Wearing a t-shirt which says "The more people i meet, the more i love my dog".

Cynical. Trying to see the words through different layered lenses. That guy is such a chauvinist creature. She speaks words she has no understanding of. Do not believe those words, it is only a way to sweet talk.

The trust, the simple joy of having people around you lost somewhere. From birthdays with the whole class being invited to a birthday spent quietly with a select few. From going home for holidays and spending time with the zillion of relatives to spending it alone with myself.

Threshold View

I saw a path down the red brown bricks
A call saying “Come along with me”
The shrubs changed to trees
The flowers transforming twigs
Sometimes narrow, sometimes opening deep
I walked by the herds of sheep. 

I thought I knew those lanes by now
By-lanes crept up unknown unseen
I halted, took a break from it
To enquire from the herdsmen’s chiefs
What path did they see? 

They knew no path
Just walked and walked
They chose the trail
With the greener grass 

The grass was green in bits and parts
Which was my bit, which part was that?
The call was faint, the mist grew thick

I took the first step
I heard my heart beat 

I guess this is it, I hope I am there
Where I wanted to Be…