A bus ride.

Crack.
Something broke in there.
and the hollowness was back. 
shallow, deep, endless hole of nothing.
And i stand where i was.
Aeons back.


To those legs
mine were just another pair
of double x chromosomes.
Legs that would keep him warm
down there
where he needed to be held up.


I was free stuff.
Well, almost.
He had to travel anyway
Price of the ticket he paid
and then sat in comfort
of the closeness in the bus space.


i cringed.
the hard, wet window panes felt better
than those dirty hands
and legs
against mine.


But i couldn't speak.
Even though i know i have the right,
and i have fought for it more
than many i know.


i couldn't look into the eyes and say leave.
i couldn't raise my voice or my arms.


i cringed.
and prayed for the next bus stop.
And when it came i stood up
and left, without a noise.