Our Walk

Through the push-pull
doors,
Near the garbage,
Taking the right
when all move ahead
We complete our circle
of loo times and lunch ends
before we move to our desk

Our walk of a year and a half

With cups in our hands
and a pouch of coffee
or tea bags
Through the winding corridors
and lanes,
prying eyes turned our way
we walk and start
the vending machine's march

Our walk of some days and hours

Choosing the grassy path
with pebbles to add
we ambled to the class
or bunked and drove away far
to see the gujju land

Our walk, 2 years back

If i go to where it starts
through the roads
of memories past
through rocky lands
and sandy ones
It is always us, and its our walk...

All through the night

Her smile enchanting
and wise
was no longer charming
or nice

All through the night
She called the name
All through the night
She lived in shame

Struggling to keep
up the face
She needed some cheap,
some fake
disguise to take

"Oh, I understand
I see your point plain"
Those words are so bland
they give her much pain

All through the night
the words came back
All through the night
she felt it crack

And yet, she fakes
her smiles she wastes
on those who wouldn't care
if at all she was there...

All through the night
her heart would cry
All through the night
her sobs won't dry

Before the sun would rise
She would bring back her smile
As she would hide her sighs
And replay her guile

Enchanting and bright
Her smile would then shine
You will fall for that sight
You will not hear her whine...

In another world. On another day.

Someone I have known for years, probably for the longest period of my conscious life, told me this: "There are lives we wish we lived and we don't".

Like a move in the game of chess. You choose your move anticipating a certain response from your opponent. You also try to anticipate a number of subsequent moves by both of you and imagine a few scenarios. Sometimes you don't make a move, because you don't think it's worth it, or you think you are gonna lose much more than gain from it. You plod on. The board seems to keep you in a positive situation, in control of any setbacks.

Life does not give you a chance like it gave to Evans in "The Butterfly Effect". You can't go back and change your moves, you can't try it out and change again to create a win-win situation for everyone. Even Evan couldn't, but he tried the best one possible.

How would I be if I had done things differently? Made different choices, or let others make different choices for me? How many infinite different worlds could i have on this day in this same world? Or would it be like a Goosebumps story book, where the routes are numerous, but the ends remain very few and finite? So, even though I would have made very different choices, I would still be where I am...

And she left

She would mumble in her sleep
and in her wakefulness
sometimes with anger
at others, uncomprehending emotions

Her fear for an enemy unknown...
Someone or maybe something
from the distant past
would haunt her
and it would haunt all of us 
when she screamed
"They are coming to kill us! Don't leave me alone!"


Who were they?
From where would they come?
Will they come today?
Today, when the day was misty
and sun rays felt like a mother's arms
While a light wind blew
and the roads were calm.

How do i tell her

the one who gave me birth

that she needs to go

to wash her hands

after she spilled her food

when they were coming

the ones i could not see

or hear their words...

How do i tell the world

that i am tired of taking care

and now would love

to be the one taken care of?

Will i be forgiven for wishing

for my release

when i asked to be freed of her?

Would my care be questioned

or will my sigh of relief

be understood for what it was?

or was not?

How much did i love her?

Oh yes I loved her

But could not take her pain away

I saw her decay slowly

like a prisoner in her body's cage

Till the final breath had left her...

Left her

and left me to myself

as the night seemed to fade...

The Evil One

Yes. The evil evil one.

The one who gives you the bitter truth.

The one who says goodbye, because it is the best for you.

The one who has to be mean and relentless, without a heart, so that your heart does not break again.

The one who will tell you, you are a spade, not because you should remain one or feel bad about being one, but because it knows you can be so much more if you would try a little harder than today.

The one who is the bitter medicine for the cure of immeasurable illnesses.

The one who becomes the hated one for not saying a yes to whatever you say.

The one who is truly your friend, who loves you with your mistakes, who judges you before the world gets a chance to do so, guards you from the pain that you might face, who is there not only when you need it but also when you don't know that you do need it.

Thats the evil one. The one you love to hate.

Another tale

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything.
That's why she is in love with me.
~ Haruki Murakami

Where were we? Yes right there. Hiding behind disguises. Till the breeze would draw apart the veil from the eyes. After all how would a blind person miss the colours which he can't see. Till the cloud would hide the strength of the burning sun. And how would anyone miss the warmth, when they can feel only the cold wind...

But the mirror does not hide the truth. And it did not hide it from her.

So when he came and smiled at her, she let go of the disguise.

"I love you"... trailing off

"Good thing." With a full stop.

No love no glory, no hero in her sky.

Not refusal. Just acceptance but with a sealed future. A future which has him and her, but not them. And there the tale ends.