Best Friend Fights

When I think Best friend, the name & the face changes according to my age and the place I would be in. Different people have had that tag, and are now named as my best friend from Rourkela,from Durgapur, from Delhi, from MICA, from Mumbai, from office, from hostel..and so on. Even in those lists there are hierarchies. Like some are the bestest of the lot. So what happens when you fight with one of the "best" ones?

Do we fight on life changing issues? Never. It is always something really silly, but there is a lot of hurt involved, because of the "how could she not understand this would hurt me" syndrome.

And when that happens there are certain rules, that are followed. Always.

1. Never talk about it to your boyfriend or your mother. There is an underlying power play at all times between your best friend and your boy friend or your mother. This would be the time, when the power play will have a winner. Trust me, you wouldn't want a winner in that, especially after your anger has calmed down and you don't really want to hear "I told you so!"

2. Never talk with the closest next best friend, who the best friend knows. They will try to play mediator, and it would look like a breach of trust. 

"How could she tell J about our fight? So, now J is closer to her than me!" 

Long cold war will ensue.

3. Don't try and send text or e-mail messages to put your point across. Each and every syllable would be replied to with sound logic, thought over after reading, re-reading and consulting. And you would realise, how many different perspectives the same word would take.

"When I wrote 'That was mean', I did not say 'mean' as in horrid person, but 'mean' as in something that hurt me." 

It will take you forever to get the word's meanings and perspectives on the same plane.

4. There is bound to be huge ego clashes.

"She slammed the door on my face, she has to come & talk"

"She did not even try to calm me down. She just coldly stayed in her room".

Wait for them to subside. They eventually do.

5. Talk only to strangers who have no possibility of knowing your best friend or ever meeting her. Or who have the shortest memory. Fights should never be retold by a 3rd person. Leads to worse fights.

I don't know about others, but my fights usually ends when i hug her, or do something nice for her, or just go and talk about completely non-related stuff. Its like saying I am sorry, but not really saying it. By opening communication and taking the first step and saying lets move on. And the best part is,when my best friend understands and accepts this as the apology and life moves on again and we are back to being the closest ones. And life is beautiful & happy again.